Silver Mens

Interesting stories about how a Miao man woos a woman

Who are the Miao?

Being a minority group, the Miao mainly inhabit the mountainous southern and southwestern China. People also call them Hmong. The Miao are well known for their extraordinary handmade arts and crafts like embroidery, brocade, batik, and unique silver jewelry.

During holidays the Miao usually go singing and dancing to enjoy their simple but happy life. Youngsters are busy with searching for their lovers at this moment.

Flirting

If a man shows interest in a girl, he will follow her and may suddenly give her finger a gentle pinch. If the girl likes the man, she will smile at him as a sign of agreement; but if the girls doesn’t like, she will just ignore him.

Some men can find an excuse like “asking for candy” to play with girls.” He’ll ask a girl for some candy, and if she doesn’t like him, she will say, “my candy is all sold out, you can go to somewhere else to ask.” But if the girl likes the man, she would say in a low voice, “come with me.” Then she leaves. Followed by the man, the girl goes to the woods or lakeside, where they will have a talk.

Dating

When going on a date, Miao lovers have their own signs to indicate the place and time to meet. The one who comes first will use some grass to form a knot and give a particular sign leading the other to the meeting place.

Each peculiar sign has a meaning. A bee braided by couch grass signifies: I am now waiting here, will you come or not? A dragonfly made out of a vanilla plant means: we will meet at the same place, please come soon! A grasshopper means: sorry, I can’t come to meet you. A white flower twined with grass indicates: our relationship is over because you have broken our appointments for many times.

When their partner arrives, she/he will tie another knot in the middle of the same patch of grass to tell others not to bother them.

When they have met for a few times, the couple will swap their personal things. The man gives his waistband or tobacco pipe to the girl, while the girl gives the man her silver rings, hair pin, or a pair of embroidered shoes.

Marriage

When a Miao couple decides to get married, they will tell their parents, who then ask a matchmaker to fix the wedding date.

Sometimes an interesting thing will happen if the parents don’t agree. The man together with other people will come to the girl’s home at night to ” rob” her and take her to his home. Three days later, the man’s family will send an old respectable family member with a chicken to inform the girl’s parents, and ask them to agree.

On the day when they get married, a big fire will burn at the door of the man’s home to pray that their marriage will last long. During the night, a choir with both families will sing songs for long hours until daybreak.

The songs reveals how the couple met and fell in love, some information of their parents, grandparents, and great-grand parents. They will also tell the stories about their ancestors who moved around China throughout history.

The bride and the groom are busy with preparing the sweet rice wine for their guests during the whole night.

In some Miao areas, married women are prohibited from coming back to their parents’ home until they have a child.

I’m C. Liu and I am very interested in Miao culture. I even have a website with some of the most beautiful examples of Miao silver jewelry available here. The best silver jewelry is produced in Miao areas: such pure silver can be hardly got in your local markets, and their workmanship is unmatchable.